Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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