Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize