It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I intend to get homeless drunk
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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