Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize