Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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