I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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