I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize