Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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