Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
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Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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