How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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