He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize