OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize