it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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