Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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