1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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