just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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