I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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