You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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