i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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