who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
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There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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