he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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