The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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