So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize