I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize