don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i will never coherently bang her
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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