sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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