Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
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