i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize