Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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