His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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