I think I died a long time ago.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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