I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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