dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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