it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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