Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize