I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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