maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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