just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize