I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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