I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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