hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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