No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
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Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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