Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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