Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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