I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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