You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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