they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize