i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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