he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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