A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize